Comments on: You are holding my baby… and I am allowing it… is this wrong?

By: Rose

Rose — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:12:28 +0000

Couldn’t agree more with your thoughts. But again, she probably went to the arms of that old man because you seemed comfortable with it. I strongly believe my little one quickly checks with me and if I am smiling and trusting he is okay with it. That being said, I was equally nervous when an Asian lady who was visiting her newborn grandchild wanted to hold and take a photo with my son. It seemed strange and for some reason I couldn’t say no. He was happy and giggling and all but I was going crazy in my mind thinking what if the woman threw my baby in the ground or over the fence what if she has a contagious disease etc.etc.. Obviously, none of those happened but I got a very good lesson. I am now prepared with my ‘answer’ if I don’t want to pass my child to a stranger.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:16:19 +0000

I am so with you on the fearful thoughts….I would have had all of the same feelings…what if what if what if and how come I didn’t snatch her back. Now that my kids are older (3 and 5), I find it easier to either not end up in those situations or manage my way out of them but I had tons of those happenings when my first one was little and would come home fuming at the audacity of strangers to put their hands on my child. While he sounds like a lovely man, your feelings are not to be denied as a mother, as those feelings are often our intuition picking up something unconsciously that makes us uncomfortable (it could be that one part of your awareness was picking up on his frailty and wondering if he might drop her – I have this problem with my childrens’ grandparents). My children are so secure they will easily hug and cuddle people they hardly know, so I have to have eyes in the back and sides of my head. Yes, things were different when we were kids and I think many kids were lucky and some weren’t. We’re wiser now. It’s too bad that the world isn’t the safe place it should be for kids, but it just means we have to work harder to seek out those safe places and people. You sound like a great mom.

By: Eleanor

Eleanor — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:07:47 +0000

I agree with everything. I think it’s sad that things have got to the point where we can’t automatically trust each other, and as a parent I try my best to stay as trusting as I can- within reason. When our son was about 9 months old my husband and I went on a trip to Montreal. We pushed him around the city all day in his stroller and it was late, and we were starving by the time we settled into an Indian restaurant to eat. They brought a highchair over for us but our boy was tired and fussy and just as our food arrived he started freaking out. The owner of the restaurant came over and offered to hold our baby for us and at first I declined, choosing to carry him back and forth while my husband shoved his food down as fast as he could. But the manager kept offering and my son went over to him easily when he reached out so I chose to trust in the situation and we ate the rest of our meal happily while our son was walked around by a stranger. It was one of thoser moments that sticks with me because this was just a parent helping another parent out. I’ve offered to take people’s babies for them in similar situations and have always had my offer accepted and I would hate to think of someone thinking I was going to run off with their child…….but the fact is, I understand them thinking it because I’ve been there. It’s not like when we were kids, like in this blog post I wrote some time ago about when my mum left me with the snack concession man at the basketball game. Say no more.
http://themouseintheattic.blogspot.com/2009/10/youve-gotta-love-70s.html

By: Our Little Pickle

Our Little Pickle — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 05:44:38 +0000

Yes Alison, I can take the positive that Everly has a healthy attachment, lol! I fear for the first boy that she brings home. She has a very protective daddy and MANY uncles, lol!

By: Alison

Alison — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 23:41:36 +0000

You know… I have my moments where things like this bother me but it has happened so many times now (my little gal willingly walks up to people and says ‘up’ and a great deal of older people pick her up – younger ones not so much). The funny thing is that if they pick her up I get nervous, if they dont I think ‘ the nerve!’ haha.
I dont think its just you… we hear of so much awful stuff these days its no wonder one would react this way. Its unfortunate though isnt it?
I just smile and take her back if Im not comfortable with it (and disinfect every inch of her after lol) or I roll with it. Usually I roll with it… be thankful your daughter isnt clingy and is ‘trusting’ of other people because I think it means she is well-adjusted and feels confident she is safe.
Imagine how you feel when she brings the first boy home??? This will probably pale in consideration! ha

By: Kids in Victoria Blog Post « Our Little Pickle

Kids in Victoria Blog Post « Our Little Pickle — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 19:51:07 +0000

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