I really liked my outfit on Thursday. Especially the fitted red v-neck wool cardigan I wore as the top. It is a really rich, blue-red.; a really good color on me. I put on the outfit in the morning and hung out with Boeuf all day, who is much curd-burpier than he used to be.
So anyhow. He pukes on me, I wipe it off. He pukes on the again, I wipe it off. He hits my left sleeve, down my front (really nice, squishy and warm between ma Gs) and down my back and I wipe it off once more with the warm cloth.
All this is fine, until I am getting ready to take the little man with me out to dinner. In this sweet top, which has spent the day doubling as a barf bag and a receiving blanket. Kid fed and bundled, keys in hand, I am wearing this top come hell or high water. Who’s gonna know, right? What a great red!
And then I open the door to my apartment, walk out the door and suddenly the wind picks up and I smell it. Vomit. Bebe bile. Yup. It’s me. I reek of Boeuf’s chunder. Hadn’t thought about that.
So, chagrined, but not grossed out like I really should have been, I changed.
I am going to choose to believe that other new parents have moments like this, where suaveness does not come quite so naturally as pre-bebe. I hand someone my child and realize a while later that I am still bouncing. I run into a girlfriend in town the other day. She is lovely, quite stylish and professional and while we were talking snot flew out of my left nostril. To somewhere. I find that I actually have to consciously activate my social skills and graces and it is a little hard sometimes. I found snot on the back of my hand earlier and I am pretty sure it was Boeuf’s. I had to choose between two social events last week and chose the one that I could wear runners to and that was done by nine.
I used to think that parents hung out with parents so that they wouldn’t bore non-parents by just prating on about their offspring. Now I enjoy hanging out with parents just so if I drool while I am speaking or wipe food off some stranger’s face, they won’t wonder.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Haha! This made me laugh! First, your reference to “chunder”. Haven’t heard that one in awhile! But yes, your point is made well! Never change into your “good” outfit until minutes before you’re about to leave the house, and even then, no guarantees. Also, black tops magnetically attract children’s snot and upchuck. I don’t know how it works, but its a scientific fact
LOL – I can totally relate to that. It’s always at the last opportune moment that various bodily fluids decide to find MY clothing… not hers…
So true. Now that I’ve gone back to work, getting ready in the morning is a very delicate affair for sure. And oh, the social graces when I get to work… yeah they need some polishing. :/