Ma Thoughts

morbid morbid morbid.
Lying still in my bed, huddled up at the edge, listening for his breath. There it is. There it goes. He takes in a big breath, ‘I wonder if that is his last?’ I don’t hear him breathe. I look over the rim of the crib – gently place my hand on his [...]

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This is a line from a David Gray song. You have to hear the particular tune and timbre of his voice for your capillaries and pores to all open up and soak up how lovely that line is. Don’t watch the video, just listen.
This is the first song line that I can associate with Felix. [...]

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Sometimes I forget he is in the room.
I get caught up, thinking of this, thinking of that, and then my eyes hop atop the letters parading along in my head and then I notice him there, smiling happily right at me. Or just giving himself a wrist hickey. Or beaming at the fridge, ceiling, chair. [...]

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I really liked my outfit on Thursday. Especially the fitted red v-neck wool cardigan I wore as the top. It is a really rich, blue-red.; a really good color on me. I put on the outfit in the morning and hung out with Boeuf all day, who is much curd-burpier than he used to be.
So [...]

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I was reading a Mom blog where a woman was gushing about how wonderful her kid was for wanting to donate her shoes to the Mustard Seed to “those people.”
I started to twitch and scowl, to be honest. “Those people” like they are distinct from “these people,” being herself and her awesome child. Not recognizing [...]

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I googled “Week 10 infant development” to see what is supposed to be happening. Babies Online, under ‘What Might be Concerning You” exclaims “SIDS!”
“SIDS!”
That exclamation point offends me. Ehow precedes “How to use an exclamation point” with The often over used exclamation point can add punch to a sentence when used judiciously. Does the possibility of [...]

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Little acorn of a bebe curled up in my arms. I quietly sing “Fais dodo, Felix mon’tit fils, fais dodo t’auras du lolo…” right close up to his wee face.  The candle light flickers. The wind pauses for a moment, to allow the stillness to enter, so the small human can allow slumber to soak [...]

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