Little acorn of a bebe curled up in my arms. I quietly sing “Fais dodo, Felix mon’tit fils, fais dodo t’auras du lolo…” right close up to his wee face. The candle light flickers. The wind pauses for a moment, to allow the stillness to enter, so the small human can allow slumber to soak [...]
Boeuf is lying on the quilt we were given at the hospital right now, pudged-out limbs splayed, small belly rising and falling, rising and falling. A guild crafts these intricate, comfort-and-love-infused quilts to gift families who experienced difficult births. How kind and phantom supportive. It’s funny, because I would not describe my birth as difficult per [...]
He does not feel totally separate from me. He is nine weeks old. More now than before. When I first realized this I felt like that was bad, like I should honor and respect him as his own unique person and who was I anyhow? But the ease I felt with him was like the [...]
“Please smack me upside the head if I become the kind of mom I hate,” I emailed my sister in law shortly before I gave birth.
When I was pregnant, I wasn’t really afraid of that much. I was afraid that the bebe would die inside me, or that he would be unhealthy and die once [...]
It just sort of happened. It was not intentional or conscious. I wasn’t trying to be witty or cute.
I am talking about nicknames. I now have one for my son. What is it?
‘Boeuf,’ which is French for beef.
I don’t know.
I have been calling him ‘Boeuf’ for a few weeks now and I had not really [...]
I don’t “love my baby”
I don’t feel like we have always known each other
I can remember what life was like before he arrived
However
I can’t say “I love my baby” because the sentence structure and the limits of the English language inhibit the precise expression of what is going on here. The subject + verb + [...]
The lavender candlelight flickers across the infant’s soft limpid cheek, rocking within the curved caress of the gazing, singing, sighing new mother. The wee one’s dulcet squawk; so gentle yet urgent. Mother smiles and slides her pink nipple into the tiny open mouth that carefully draws the warm milk in an opiate rhythm that soothes [...]