Devastated!

[Anonymous Posts]

I just found out for sure today that we are relocating to vancouver for my husbands job. i Have a dd 7 (only child) and iam soo worried about telling her and her reaction.i just told my mom a couple hrs ago and she is traumatised i just left her crying in her chair .
we moved back from vancouver 5 years ago and ended up living in a suite at my parents house so my dd has had the luxury of growing up with her grandparents right downstairs.my mom obviously has had the luxury of living with her daughter and grand daughter upstairs.they come and kiss her good night everynight,come up to watch movies whenever etc.so it is going to be a real shock for both of them.i feel soo guilty,i know i shouldnt but this is soo hard to see her so sad.iam worried about my dd's reaction when we tell her as well.
has anyone else had any experience with relocating and having kids 5-8 ish and how did they deal with new school friends home etc?
i want to barf!

[Anonymous Posts]

anyone?
could use some words of wisdom here

[Nat]

I remember moving and starting a new school when I was 7, or however old I was when I went into grade 2. I have a bad memory, lol, but I honestly don't remember being traumatized or anything, I don't even remember most of my life before grade 2. I know someone who just moved with her 8 yr old to a new state and he's adjusted just fine. I think kids this age adjust really well and it's probably a lot easier to start over and make new friends at that age than when they're older. Plus, your mom is just a ferry ride away Good luck with the move!

Nat

[the pilot's wife]

Hey there, take a deep breath. It will be ok. Vancouver isnt that far and easy for them to come visit as ferry walk ons, or vice versa. I've been through the living so close, only granddaughter thing and it's hard when you have to leave but they can talk on the phone, write letters, have weekend sleepovers. My mom has been awesome at mailing my daughter little cards, visiting, having us back for visits. You sound like a very close family and I'm sure you'll both make the effort to nurture your close ties even with a little water in btw. I'd be guessing the having to make new friends and go to a new school is going to be a big hurdle. Never easy at that age but hopefully you can find some extra activities that she could join so she gets 'networking' quickly over the summer. Good luck, dont know if that helped, hope it did to know you arent alone.

[Anonymous Posts]

thanks for the reply
while i know all of this ,it just helps to hear words of encouragemnet from other pople
just to pound it into your head i guess! so i dont roll around feeling sorry for myself and thinking iam ruining my dd!
lol

[Anonymous Posts]

We were in a similiar situation, our kids are the same age and an only as well, and we moved away from friends and grandparents. I was concerned for my child but as it turned out was the best possible thing we could have done:) very easy transition!! Great school,new friends,new activities and a mommy and daddy who are no longer stressed about cash becuase the daddy's new job increased income from student poverty level and subsidized housing to a comfy 70,000 and regular increases to come. Makes paying the bills so much less scary and we can afford many new opportunies for our wee one. Grama and Grandpa are only a call away and they speak frequently.

Think of it as an adventure, the island is a quick hop away from Van and the love your parents and daughter have built will stay with her always.

[foxe]

GOOD LUCK with the adjustments.

[Anonymous Posts]

bump

[Slacker Mum]

I moved when I was 4, 8, and 11. There were some tough times, but it was, especially in hindsight, a good experience for me. It forced me to learn to deal with change and meet new people. Also broadened my perspective.

I lived away from my grandparents most of the time and we still had a wonderful, close relationship.

[Sunnygirl]

Kids take their cue from you. If you seem thrilled and excited - your child will be too. If you're upset and devastated - they also will be. You'll need to hide your feelings on this one to make the transition easy for your child. You'll need to get your mom to do the same for your kid's sake.

[Anonymous Posts]

wow. we have relocated with kids and it was hard. we moved away from family. it was hard but we managed. my mum was devastated too. Luckily we were able to come back and have now decided that no job is worth it. Life is too short. my dh has a very good job and I will probably have to work more but when his contract is up instead of moving we are going to stay and make it work. Van is not so far but it is hugly far if they tucked her in every night. that is a unique relationship. I don't blame you! I would be devastated too! I guess if you just can't stay then you have to go and make the best of it. I never hid my sadness from the kids. I said I was sad - they saw me cry but we also talked about how exciting of an adventure it would be and made sure we went to some fun places at the new location - let them personalzie their rooms.... They both regressed and were afraid of the dark and some other issues but in time it worked out. We got web cams so they could see and talk to eachother every night or read stories. sometimes it helped and sometimes it made it worse but it kept the contact up. good luck op! it is so hard and sometimes it feels like no matter what decision you make it hurts. HUGS!!!!

[Anonymous Posts]

thanks for all the kind words
it sucks in soo many ways but also exciting as well.
i was jsut looking at places on craiglits and got kinda excited becuase we can afford soemthing way nicer now.so thats a plus but then ill catch myself being ahppy and remind myself that iam devastated!
lol

[Brys_mum]

dont dwell on the bad things when you tell your daughter.. Make it sound exciting.. Like a new adventure.. Hey dd guess what?? we are going to move to a new home!! Daddy got a better job.. You will get to meet new friends and grandma and grandpa and come and visit us and have sleep overs... What do you think about that??? Mommies excited

We are a military family and move often.. Its very hard on friends and family members.. I remember the day I left my mom like it was yesterday...We left Calgary to move to Winnipeg and then from Winnipeg to Toronto... and now here this past August.. and I have two wonderful kids... I just do what I typed above and make it an adventure.. Not alot more you can do really.. Only other option would be to decline and stay there and have him find a new job??? I dont think that is likely by the sounds of it.. Anyways.. Good luck with your move... It will all work out.. Just give it time.. theres alot of military families online here that can relate to you with being posted with their husbands and kids.. Heres hopin maybe they can post a response here... hugs to all..

[Anonymous Posts]

thanks for the response
i would never show her my sadness,i will def make it an adventure for her.
i have an ace up my sleeve because now she will be able to ahve a puppy ( we couldnt have one here) so thats a plus and her grandma knows to make it sound fun and exciting as well. thats why iam coming here to post my real feelings and get it all out so she doesnt sense it or see it from me .
my husband loves what he does and there just isnt the jobs in Vic for it unfortunately. and i wouldnt ask him to get different job (it would be a huge pay drop and just not financially smart) and be unhappy.while this is hard it is the beginning of his career and will mean a comfortable life finacially for us and early retirement ,i can choose to work or not.It will give us more freedom.but why cant it be here @$!#!
lol