Sleep Issues...Help!

[natesmommie]

My son doesn't sleep through the night. He is 8.5 months old and breastfed. He has progressively gotten worse since he was born. Now he is up several times a night. He starts out in his crib and goes down without a fuss. His bed time routine starts at 7ish and he is asleep by 8. We are very consistant about this. He then starts to wake anywhere from 10 to 12 and goes one from there every 1 to 3 hours. I usually end up feeding him and rocking him in an attempt to get him to go back to sleep. If I just put him down like bedtime he lasts about 2 minutes then starts to cry and it goes on and on and on. We try to give him the soother, patting, not picking him up but it all ends up with us picking him up and rocking him and now I have been bringing him into bed with me so we can all get some sleep. I always make the plan to let him CIO but I don't know if it is right. I don't want to do it if it doesn't work. The internet info freaks me out like I am going to give him brain damage.
What do I do?? What have you done? We are frustrated.

[Mamasboys]

This could have been me writing the post! We are going through the same thing, slept beautifully for the first few months and at 4 months, WAM, things changed I've made lots of posts about this so you might want to have a look, i've gotten lots of great advice.

We have just decided to finally try CIO (but he never really cries, just wines until we come get him) 2 nights ago he wined from 4-5:30 and finally fell asleep on his own until 6:30. We went in every 5 minutes gave him the soother a kiss and walked out... last night he wined from 2:30-3 I went in every 10 minutes and went back to sleep until 5, quick feed and then asleep til 7:30.

I decided that I was going to feed him at certain times (once before 2 and once after 2 and no more than that) and that the rest of the time we would try to comfort him without picking him up. Not sure if it's going to work, but it was better last night as he only ended up waking up 3 times (11, 2:30 and 5) He also had a bit of a fever yesterday so he was tylenoled last night so that may have been the difference

so no real advice, just know that you're not alone.... I totally get you on the crying thing and If DS was truly crying I would have issues as well--but since he just wines (and stops the minute he sees the hall light come on ) i know it's not going to affect him long term.

[natesmommie]

Thanks for your response....It is so hard. We try to make a plan but then it all falls apart in the middle of the night. I start getting anxiety about 6pm knowing what is to come. I know I have to do something but I just don't know what.

[MommaErin]

My DS slept well for the first bit too then around 5 months he started sleeping poorly. He is now 14 months and has been sleeping beautifully. Honestly I think it just takes time, I think most infants don't sleep all night until a year old. A big reason may be because of teething. I think the main reason why our DS had trouble sleeping is because we think he has an intolerance to milk and had an upset tummy often. I would say just hang in there, stick to your bedtime routine . You can try it out, most parents have trouble doing this though and sometimes it simply doesn't work. It will get better!!

Erin

[Mamasboys]

I totally get the anxiety thing--I'm there as well. Last night I actually lay in bed and told myself that I was going to be relaxed about it and that I was going to cherish the extra time I get with DS. I'm thinking that my anxiety is making things worst... and, last night was the best night we've had for weeks.

Re your plan, try writing it down. I know that sounds crazy, but we had to write it down so that I didn't change it in the middle of the night. (my hubby was going crazy cause I would tell him one thing at 9pm and a totally different thing at 3am he asked me to write a plan and now we are both sticking to it--also, it allows me to say to him "I've done my pre 2am nurse so it's your turn now and he can tell me that I need to stick to the plan (he's a very literal guy)

Hope things are better tonight for both of us!

[natesmommie]

I do wonder if it is his teeth at night time and he doesn't really need tylenol but rather me being there reassuring him...who knows.

Writing down the plan is a good idea...I think I frustrate my husband more than the baby does. I change my mind constantly. I think we might be living a parallel life I am so adamant about "the plan" then I do the complete opposite when the time comes...

I also like your idea about only two nurses a night. It is a reasonable and doable goal ...



Does your baby have any teeth yet??

[Strong_Mama]

ay about 5/6 months we started doing the CIO. Never for long, but we let him go alone for about 5-10 minutes. It worked tho!! Now if he wakes at all during the night, we usually dont have to go in. If we do, its just put the soother in and we walk out. He goes right back to sleep.
You just gotta decide on something and stick with it. It's hell getting your baby there, but in the end you'll both end up getting more sleep. You'r son should be on solids now, right?? Maybe he doesnt even need that during the night feeds.
I had a strict plan layout that I stuck to. It was hard, but like I said, it worked!! If you would like me to tell you what worked for me, let me know. Its alot to type in the general area, lol.
Good Luck ladies. It gets sooo much better!!

[Mamasboys]

mama to one--I would love to know what you did! It's been pretty tough.
We bought a sound machine today and are hoping that it helps a bit...

Natesmommie--no teeth yet--I've been blaming teething now for a few months... where are those teeth!! He has had a small fever for 2 days now so maybe they really are going to show up. Does your guy have teeth?

THIS "Writing down the plan is a good idea...I think I frustrate my husband more than the baby does. I change my mind constantly. I think we might be living a parallel life I am so adamant about "the plan" then I do the complete opposite when the time comes..." IS SO ME my hubby is really going crazy!

[Guest]

Hi,

From what I have learned from both my kids is that Sleeping through the night has to be Taught just like other skills. Babies have to learn to self-sooth. Often if they have relied on nursing, bouncing, rocking to get back to sleep then they need to be taught another way.

With both my kids they did what your DS is doing. I would nurse on demand at night until 7 months with DD and 6 months with DS but then training them to fall back asleep without the breast was difficult.

With DD we gave her a lot of crutches that we had difficulty weaning her off. With DS we were aware of those crutches so we just stuck with the soother with him.

For us I did as Britchie did. I set a resolve for myself to pick one feeding that I would cut out.

I started with the 11pm one. Babies at 8.5 months really don't need to nurse at night. It is just an external soothing technique. It is great if it isn't driving YOU nuts but if it is (like it did me) then it worth trying to break the habit.

I found with DS I made a resolve to NOT feed him before 2am and then I pushed it to 3am and then 4am. Teething does NOT help things and I would guess what maybe waking your DS is the teeth. 8.5 months is the age where they get their first two. They are in the MOST pain before you see anything. Once they are poked through then the pain resides.

We used both Camilla and Motrin. The Camilla helps with the pain right away and then the Motrin gives the staying power. My babies both teethed the WORST at night.

It DOES pay off though. Once DS figured out how to put himself back to sleep he started sleeping through the night most nights. If he wakes because of his teeth (getting molars now) then sometimes I can give him Motrin and Camilla and sometimes he demands his 1 bottle. However, if he gets it at 4am then he just gets breakfast and doesn't get his next until 11am.

I only chose one crutch to break him of at once. We started with the bottle/breast.

It takes consistency and determination. If I feel that I don't have it in me to fight him then I give in RIGHT away. I would rather that then give him the idea that he will get what he wants if he holds out long enough.

Cheers,
Lara

[saucy]

Hey there,
I've written about 5 million posts about sleep; do a search under my name and they should come up. We basically did what the other posters in this thread talked about...
Good luck! It will get better, it just doesn't feel like it.