Teenagers at playgrounds

[mamabee]

This is a rant and a rave. I have been taking my DS out to many new playgrounds to explore this summer. I am very hands on with him on the equipment at this point as he's two. If you take offense to me bringing a two year old on 'bigger' kid equipment, that's okay but he is very good at climbing, listening to me about being 'careful', doesn't take huge risks, etc. The thing that has been bugging me more and more is the groups of teenagers that come onto the playground equipment proper and either just sit around or actually run, jump, climb the outside of the structures, knock over littler kids... My more assertive friend told off a group yesterday at the Centennial playground in Ganges who were clearly over 13 and doing dangerous jumping moves around littler kids (they were jumping over the younger kids and also inspiring some younger kids to imitate the bad behaviour)! I hate to sound like someone who wants to exclude children from having fun but when you are 13 or 14, I think you can find a skate park or something more age appropriate. It would be fine for them to use the place when it's after little kid bedtime to hang out as I did in my neighbourhood when I was a teen.

The other day (the rave) there was a group of newly independent going into grade 7 boys (the last year of the 5-12 playground designation warning) playing some complicated tag game. My DS was the only little kid on the equipment so I tried to get him to share the space. These boys were friendly, polite, helpful (took him down the slide, let him play tag) and careful around my DS. I thanked them for listening to me and for using the playground safely around a littler kid.

[2kids4me]

Yes this is a bit of a catch 22. I like seeing the teens using the equipment because it usually means they are staying out of 'other' trouble. At our neighbourhood park the teens are excellent at sharing the equipment with the smaller ones. On the odd occasion that they get too rowdy for the little guys, I always remind them about the small kids nearby (especially with language!). Even though they sometimes are too rough on the toys, and are demonstrating inappropriate behaviour or moves that aren't appropriate for young kids, I'd rather see them hanging around the neighbourhood park than hanging around downtown!

[mami]

I can relate with you ladies on this one.We've had bad experiences about this and good experiences too. One time the teenagers were so rowdy and swearing that a couple of Mom's told them to be respectful of the language they use around small children. The rave part was on a different occasion that some teens were playing basket ball and I've seen them let small kids try to shoot the ball on the hoop. With them as a cheering squad.

[Annikki]

I am a believer if a parent or adult needs to help a child on the play equipment then developmently the arent ready to play on it. Many newer playgrounds have an age limit (ex: 5-12). This can also put the other children at risk for injury depending on what kind of play is accurring with the children of appropriate age. BTW: we allow our DD not yet two play on equipment for older children when no or very few children are at the playground. We encourage independent play and for her to discover what she can and cannot do. If the park is busy we avoid it.
With that said the same should go for the teens. If the playground is for 5-12 year olds, they should yield to the age group. Leave the playground for children but if no one is around I think itès ok for them to hang out there.

[Guest]

I am with you on this one. I don't like the "mob" mentality that arises when some groups of teens start playing a tag game that can get quite rough. We were at Beckwidth and there were kids riding their scooters through the playground where the wheelchair access is knocking over the little kids there.

DD has been able to climb ladders since she was 10 months. She was developmentally able to handle the large playground at the the Vic West Y since she was just about 18 months. However, I still was with her because I believe it is irresponsible to leave a child under age 3 out of arms reach at some of the heights.

Personally I just ask them to respect everyone on the playground. However, I am used to disciplining teens as part of my job so talking to them doesn't make me nervous. Sometimes they listen and sometimes not.

If they don't listen we have to leave and find another park. DS is the opposite of DD and is capable but far more nervous when it comes to climbing. Other bigger kids make him nervous if they get too close.

Cheers,
Lara

[Ivy-Girl]

Totally playing devil's advocate here, but I"m curious as to why little ones are any more entitled to be playing on a playground's equipment than teens?

What makes littler kids more entitled to be there than older kids without parents?

Honestly curious. I don't have teens so I'm not worried about my own kids being the ones causing the issues, just curious.

Whenever I've seen an age on the equipment, like the 5-12 years or whatever, I"ve always taken that as a suggested as who would get the most enjoyment or just even who would fit best for sheer body size, like the ages put on packaging on toys like 3+ etc. I certainly never thought of it as limiting who should be allowed to play on it on any given time.

I'm all for reminding older kids about their language, or if they are being a bit rowdy around the littler ones, that they should be careful, but really, don't they have just as much right to be there, playing in a public park as anyone? Why should they be told off if they are playing however they choose to play at a park?

I've found that the presence of adults being around generally cramps the older kids styles and they tend to move on after a bit anyway, but it kind of makes me feel uneasy to think that there may be a feeling with some that older kids shouldn't be there as if they were intruding in a public place that they should have every right to enjoy just like the little kids.

[Guest]

Totally playing devil's advocate here, but I"m curious as to why little ones are any more entitled to be playing on a playground's equipment than teens?

What makes littler kids more entitled to be there than older kids without parents?

Honestly curious. I don't have teens so I'm not worried about my own kids being the ones causing the issues, just curious.

I don't think it is teens in general but groups of unsupervised teens. Little ones have parents to supervise to make sure they are playing safely and not hurting (intentionally or unintentionally) other children. I have my teen niece come to the playground with the kids and she has fun on it too. That is great and that is what it is for.

However, the groups of teens or pre-teens that I have had issues with have been ones playing tag or something that is too rough with smaller children around. They run up the slides and are moving quickly in order to avoid being tagged. They aren't intentionally trying to hurt anyone but their behaviour is not something that can be done safely on the equiptment at the same time as other children (all ages) are trying to play.

[herewego]

I have found that even the most sinister group of teens are really sweet if you talk to them sweetly. Show absolute respect and kindness (when asking to keep language clean, or to play safe around wee ones) and they will usually be really cool.

Just like anyone. You catch more flies with honey!

[Ivy-Girl]

I have found that even the most sinister group of teens are really sweet if you talk to them sweetly. Show absolute respect and kindness (when asking to keep language clean, or to play safe around wee ones) and they will usually be really cool.

Just like anyone. You catch more flies with honey!

I totally agree with you. That's been my experience as well. You talk to them respectfully and that's pretty much what you get in return.

I'm just curious about the mentality of why is it assumed by some parents that a play structure in any public park is there just for little kids? Obviously other than the obvious baby swing. I'm thinking of the bigger structure for the older kids and full sized swings. Everyone knows the difference. Like the one at Topaz or Beckwith to name a couple. That's what I'm wondering about.

[Brenda N]

I have found that even the most sinister group of teens are really sweet if you talk to them sweetly. Show absolute respect and kindness (when asking to keep language clean, or to play safe around wee ones) and they will usually be really cool.

Just like anyone. You catch more flies with honey!

I totally agree with you. That's been my experience as well. You talk to them respectfully and that's pretty much what you get in return.

I'm just curious about the mentality of why is it assumed by some parents that a play structure in any public park is there just for little kids? Obviously other than the obvious baby swing. I'm thinking of the bigger structure for the older kids and full sized swings. Everyone knows the difference. Like the one at Topaz or Beckwith to name a couple. That's what I'm wondering about.

I agree with both of you. But I must say.....
When I was a teenager I thought it was a pain that all the little kids were swarming on the big swings and stuff when my friends and I just wanted to hang out When my friends and I were playing on the equipment and hanging out I remember being so disappointed when a little kid would show up and just sit on the slide with their mom trying to coax them down....when we would have really used it.....or the little one would butt in front of us and we'd have to let them do what they wanted. We would hang out and swing a bit - or climb a lot and just chat or work of some of those hormones.
Then when I had babies I thought it was horrible that the 7yo would storm into the ferry play place where my toddler was just learning to stand. I remember fuming and staring at the sign that had recommended ages and wishing it would pop out in neon lights and tell the older kids to get lost.

And now that my kids are older.....
of course I don't let them play on the baby stuff at the ferry....unless there's no one there. Because the little ones do need their space.

But Ivy Girl you have a very good point. A public park is a public park - for the public.
And if "older" kids enjoy the equipment then they should be allowed to use it. I've seen plenty of nasty 3yo's who would butt in line at the slide - or walk up the slide when others were sliding down - or just generally raise a ruckus where other kids were playing.....and now I don't think the teens are any worse than that (in general).
Heck, I've seen mom's on the slides too

But if a 3 yo is butting in line I think its fine to say "oops, this little dude was in front of you" and if the teens are wreaking havoc I think its perfectly reasonable to say "Hey, could I ask you to slow it down around the little ones please? They can be a bit unsteady on their feet". In most cases, I think that's all it takes.

And I have to say - skate parks are only for skaters and are not nearly as convenient to find as regular parks....and most kids have to stay within a specific distance of home - so their options are limited. I'd rather they be hanging out in the playground than sitting in front of the XBox. But I totally understand your rant - its a drag when your fun is ruined by someone else's lack of consideration.

[mommyranga]

my 7 yr old has asked me for help before climbing things and i say to her , if you cant do it on your own, your not big enough or ready for it yet. But that is me.

also, yes it is a huge pain with some teenagers at parks, my main complaint would be the pot smokers .

the messing around, climbing, swearing etc...well that i can tell my girls different and teach them right from wrong instead of concerning myself with what the teens should or shouldnt be doing. You cant correct everyone else, but you can teach your own to think for his or her self in those situations. Yes he is only 2 but great time to start IMO tell him those are bigger kids doing big kids stuff, and it isnt safe for him to copy them .

my eldest two say, mom that isnt safe is it ? or mom they shouldnt be saying those things...my answer is your right they shouldnt or that isnt but we know better then them dont we ?

[dolce]

I don't have a problem with teens using a playground as long as they (like everyone else there) are respectful of other people and little children on the same equipment. Some teens are nicer to little children and play more fairly and respectfully on the equipment than the smaller kids do, and are to each other. I've watched one 6 year old-ish bad mouth my shy 10 year old on a playground. I guess it depends on the kids, both younger and older. It helps to remember that in the blink of an eye, small children grow up and are teens who need the freedom to come and go without their parents all the time. Many of them are still between childhood and adulthood and it would never cross their minds that they shouldn't be on a playground ??! In fact, why would it? As long as they're not knocking anyone over, setting a bad example, or in general causing a nuisance, I think they should be as welcome at a playground as smaller children. Skate parks are generally few and far between, and like another poster said, unless you skate, what are you going to do there?

Many playgrounds are surrounded by paths for cycling, and I know teens who love to ride their bikes around these trails. It would be a totally normal thing for them to put their bikes down, climb the play equipment, and then move on, I've seen many teens do this. They're just kids who are learning to be adults, and so I think that positive criticism if they're not behaving is fine, but I believe the parks and playgrounds are every bit as much theirs as the smaller kids. The teens I know wouldn't mind being nicely told to watch for younger children if they are carried away playing tag or another game but I think it's great that they're playing a game at the park instead of out on some street in serious trouble.

[debbiel]

My daughter is 16 and still likes playgrounds, slides, etc. I don't think she would ever do anything that would endanger a smaller child. I would rather have her there than out partying and doing the things I was into at that age, lol. I guess it really just depends on the teens. There are some respectful teens out there. I would say that my daughter and her friends are probably more like younger kids from a maturity point of view (not into the "typical" stuff that a 16 year old would be). She is happy that there is a playground at the co-op we are moving into that has a "twisty" slide. I hope it doesn't offend anyone if she used the playground as long as she isn't mean to younger children.