6 1/2 yr old bad behavior

[squidgee]

Does anyone else have a child this age that acts up as soon as you pick them up from school? She is very bright and well behaved at school. As soon as I pick her up she is rude to me. She has awful tantrums if I say NO to something. Yells at me, and hits me. She has always been an emotional kid, but I am at my wits end. Any advice?

[Samandemma]

Yes, the behaviour being fine at school and then "not appropriate" at home is quite common for many children and families. At 6.5 they are still very young and are just learning to manage having a full day at school where the expectations to sit quietly, listen and fulfill the academic and social requirements of school all while with a large group of children can be challenging. Then, when they finally get home/in the car they are finally able to relax and/or "let loose" with the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that they have contained throughout their school day.
We found (at that age) sometimes quiet time to read or do something quiet (playing with lego, puzzles, doing some arts/drawing etc) allowed for some "decompression" time. Sometimes, physical activity such as playing in the yard or at a park can help to provide some release from the school day.

Sometimes sitting together and reading a book, having a cuddle, doing a puzzle or other quiet activity, drawing together or watching a TV programme may help her shift from school to home and family time.

We also found we needed to remind our child that we would not be spoken to in a rude tone and set the limit by letting her know that she would need to go to her room to "think about her words/behaviours" and that she was welcome to come out when she felt ready to be "polite/appropriate".

Edited to add: I would also suggest reminding your DD that hitting you, or anyone else is not okay and then discuss with her briefly some ways that she can appropriately express her feelings. Physical activity (running, bouncing a ball, skipping rope, molding with play dough or clay, drawing/scribbling etc) are some safe and appropriate ways to express anger.

Best of luck. Sorry that you are having this challenge, and it is quite normal (unfortunately).

[it's only me]

OMG, this is my son right now, as we speak!!!!

I cannot take it much longer, thank goodness dh has more patience because I want to throttle him

He is constantly complaining, whining, whimpering, as soon as he gets home. Yes, he has had a long day where he is expected to behave and listen. But my god, can this not be expected at home too?? Why do we have to be a place where he can let it all out, all the time? Yes, he is only 6 1/2, and I am the adult. But I am also human and all this release it starting to take its toll on me

Sorry, op. I am just expressing my empathy and frustration . I am sure this will pass.

ETA: we have a bouncy castle for him and his siblings to bounce in after school and often that helps release any pent up energy, but when his siblings are not well (like today), he is pi$$ed because he has "no one to play with"

[kapoohhh]

Both my kids have done this over the years...

Sometimes it has to do with needing to eat, since they have had nothing since Lunch. So snack is the first thing they do now when they come into the house. It has made life alot easier after school. Plus not talking to them right away and asking them questions on how was school was and giving them there space for awhile until they come to me.
It has been way better.

[ada]

PP thanks for the reminder about food. I haven't replenished my stash of snacks in the car and lately my kids are getting really crabby by the time we get home. Of course they are crabby, they are hungry. First a quick snack in the car, then home and play outside for a while.