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rant : husband wants me to quit job

Get it off you're chest, good or bad - here's your chance to rant and rave about what's on your mind.

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rant : husband wants me to quit job

Postby harmony on Sun May 29, 2011 7:40 pm

Long story short - I work weekends at a fabulous place in the recreation/hospitality industry. It is a whopping 5 minute commute, and it is casual friendly atmosphere, has low end pay, but good tips (sometimes), is low stress...and altogether I love it.

I have a 5 mth old and 4 yr old. I still qualify for mat benefits, but this is their busy season, so I've stepped in to help out. Gm wants me to basically be weekend mgr & she is a good person who I don't want to leave short staffed.

Hubby is a contractor. Over the years he's done well for himself, but his work is not steady & I've yet to feel we've reaped all the blood, sweat and hours he's poured in to his business.

He is talented but is now is working 7 days a week to keep up with his deadlines. I came home tonight to him dictating me to quit. Parents have helped us with childcare on the weekends, but with two now it's very stressful. Babysitting may be an option, but now we've got to factor in that extra $$ out the window.

I just don't know what to do...will accept suggestions to my rant
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Re: rant : husband wants me to quit job

Postby lady_arianna on Sun May 29, 2011 8:34 pm

first of all... dictating, demanding, telling would not fly with me, i would be so p****d

as for a suggestion, i would check out usedvictoria in the child care section, as there is always people looking to take care of children... and you can often find a decent price

here is a search i did on weekend in the child care section ... =&x=27&y=9
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Re: rant : husband wants me to quit job

Postby Nickal on Sun May 29, 2011 9:19 pm

I have seen ads where parents would like to do a trade. That way both families can work and save some money. Even some ppl need care example 2 days a week and cant find a daycare maybe do child care exchange that way. ... e_14870483

PS like PP i would not be happy if my Dh tried to demand me to do things. If you like your job then try to make it work. I hope this helps.

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Re: rant : husband wants me to quit job

Postby debbiel on Mon May 30, 2011 9:19 am

If you enjoy your job - keep it. It sounds like you are getting more responsibilities there, and the pay will probably go up over time too. When your kids are older, you might be able to work it full time. The others had some good suggestions re: child care.

I don't know what trade your DH is in, but many trades are feast or famine. Your job might come in very handy some day.
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Re: rant : husband wants me to quit job

Postby myboy on Mon May 30, 2011 12:01 pm

You have to way the pros and the cons. If you working and paying for care is not as much or more than maternity you might just have to stay home for a while. It is too bad you husband couldn't have discussed it with you better, he is probably stressed out about money and having to see his wife work and himself struggling is probably hard on him. He probably wishes he could make enough so you didn't have to work(not that it would be a preference to you, but men just don't think the same).
I had to give up my business to have children. To stay home everyday looking after children I totally understand your need to do something else, to get out and feel like a woman instead of a wife and mother.
If finacially working is not the answer, talk to your employer. Maybe she will be understanding and have a position for you when your husbands work picks up. He really should have one day off. You could at least work 1 day.
My husband gets weekends off and I now work those while he stays home. Talk to your husband and see about working one day and he stays home. Tell him you need to have a day where you are not the mom. It makes you a better person, wife and mother. He also needs a day with his children. It must be hard on them not to see their dad so much or do special things with him.
It took my husband a few years to see I needed to work outside of the house again. We would fight but once I really told him that I was going nuts and felt like walking out the door somedays, he had a reality check and really listened to me. Your husband just might need that check too so he understands better, because he obviously doesn't "get it".
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Re: rant : husband wants me to quit job

Postby owensmum on Mon May 30, 2011 7:28 pm

I agree with Myboy. Where you are probably feeling upset about your husband demanding you to quite, he is probably stressed. Maybe arrange a time for the two of you to sit down and really go over your option and talk about what may work for your family.

My husband works shift work and it was/still is a challenge to find work. Alot of the shifts that were offered to me were weekend and I would have to hire someone as I don't have family that could/want to do regular care for our son. I had to factor in the cost of hiring someone and for me I would basically be working to pay someone to look after my son which isn't an option for me. I am now working in a decent paying job, but am commuting. I didn't commute and haven't had to for years. I've always been about 10 minutes away and I tell you some days I think it is not worth it. But we need the money so .....

It is a tough call, especially if you really like your job. Good luck in your decision.
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Re: rant : husband wants me to quit job

Postby kivmum on Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:57 pm

Apart from what the pp's have mentioned there is one thing I would like to add. Is there not still Paternity Leave allowed that he could take? It could be exactly what he needs (in many ways) and would definately help you out as well.

It might be just what is needed for him to not only bond more with his child and be more understanding but this way he still has money coming in on a regular basis than it sounds like he has been? I will also give you the chance to work more and perhaps have some better opportunities professionally (by the sounds of it) so when you are able / ready to go back to work on a more reg./fulltime basis the options (or current Mgmt. position) could be there waiting?

Yes, he does sound frustrated but not just about the usual things surrounding a young family and trying to support them. Construction is up/down depending on what field he is specializing in and even them it's not reliable? this way he has a regular cheque and gets to spend some time with his kids he wouldn't normally be able to do?

Not sure if this would work for you guys but thought I'd mention it?
Good Luck :-)
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