Aggressive 3 yr old girl

[JaynaF]

So I'm finding my daughter is starting to be aggressive, pushing, hitting, screaming and yelling etc... She is at home all day everyday with me and her 1.5yr old brother, along with a 17 month old daycare child. I can understand maybe that is part of the reason? That she is home all day with these 2 babies etc... She starts preschool next week, so I'm hoping I'll see a change, as she will be with other kids her own age a couple mornings a week. But what can I as a parent do? I've tried talking nice, at her level, explaining why we don't do that, and we've tried time outs and handing out consequences, or diverting her, but it just seems like nothing is working. I'm trying to give her alone time with myself during the babies' nap time, but I'm out of ideas! Help? Thanks!! Jayna

[ccc_cat]

Well we are going through the same thing with my DD. She is 2.5 yrs.

We had DS 8 weeks ago, and now I have a daycare child ( older than her), but I have talked to other mom's and this seems to be a "typical stage". What I was told to try, and has found it works is get down to her level and ask if she is mad,frustrated, sad and make the faces.

I was surpised DD said right away, I'm mad! So I told her to hit the couch, or a pillow, something that doesnt hurt anybody. For frustration it is to breathe like a lady bug ( her favourite animal), and when she hits, touch her softly, always in the same place with the same fingers, and say we touch softly like this, we don't hit.

I am going through this myself, but so far have had some success with these suggestions.

[Max]

I'll tell ya, the age of 3-4 just about killed me - and I have had two of them together. Your dd seems very, very normal, and what you've been doing is exactly how I've been dealing with it. If you ride it out, as she approaches 4 she really will become this delightful wee child again. And preschool will definitely help you out (time apart ) and help her out. I've really seen an amazing change in my boys as they are approaching 4 - cooperative, kind, less aggressive, less physical, just generally GREAT kids!

Hang in there!

[lauriews]

I'm going through the same thing with my three year old son. I asked a friend with an older child if his behaviour was typical or not for his age, and she said: It's normal behaviour, but that doesn't mean that you accept it. She got that from (and I know I am going to spell her name wrong) an Allison Reese seminar on sidestepping the power struggle. That quote gave me a lot of strength, knowing that this is just a normal phase for his age. Now I'm not angry with him, but see it as my mission to minimize this behaviour.

That said, it still embarrasses me when he does it with the neighbourhood kids!